Love Never Dies
by onlyonceinforever
Summary: It started out like a normal day. Then everything changed... When an old lover goes down in the line of duty, Olivia is forced to confront her past. Slight AU. OBxBC :ONESHOT:


**Disclaimer: If I owned Law and Order, a) I would be filthy rich and b) I wouldn't be writing fanfiction.**

**A/N: All right, here's the deal. I've had a major case of writer's block for the past couple months, and the last work I churned out flat out sucked. I'm figuring this is no exception, especially since it's the product of 1AM and in a style that I don't usually toy with, so it's probably a bit OOC.**

**Love Never Dies**

It started out just like a normal day. Except that I wasn't working. That's right - I had the day off and I was going to make the best of it.

It was a lazy day - you know the kind I mean. The kind where you sleep in, lounge around in your pajamas, eating a less-then-nutritious meal of dry cereal and milk, before you do anything resembling productive. It was the kind of day that teenagers always enjoy, blissfully ignorant of the responsibilities the world of adulthood brings. The kind of day they don't deserve because they don't know just how good hey have it. But I digress.

I thought of Elliot and the others at the precinct, working their tails off as I stepped into the shower. It was a nice, long shower, too, the kind where the water simply washes your troubles down the drain with the dirt and grime. I can't remember the last time I got to take a shower like this.

But, as they say, all good things must come to an end.

No sooner had I wrapped a towel around my wet hair did the phone ring. My cell phone, nonetheless, the phone that connects me to all that has to do with work. The phone that I forgot to turn off.

With a sigh, I reached for the phone and flicked it open.

"Benson." I said, trying in vain not to sound _too_ put out.

"Liv," came the voice from the other end, the voice of my partner, "Something's happened."

Thoughts of death and worse ran through my mind.

"Are you okay?" I asked, a sinking feeling arising in the pit of my stomach, the kinda where you just _know_ something's terribly wrong. "Are Munch and Fin all right?"

"Yeah, we're all fine." Elliot said, sounding desperate, like he didn't want to be the one to tell me the next part. "Do you remember Cassidy?"

A wave of emotion crashed down on me. A million thoughts raced through my head, all trying to gain precedent.

Of course I remembered Cassidy. Brian Cassidy. Munch's partner until he had finally seen enough and transferred back to homicide. We had been lovers, but never all that close. Funny, because I loved him.

He couldn't be dead. He just couldn't be. This Cassidy we were talking about, for God's sakes. The smart ass, wise-cracking rookie who could never absorb enough information. That's what made him a great detective. But I guess, in the end, he was just too young, too inexperienced in the stuff we deal with every day. It had just been too much for him.

"Liv? You still there?" Elliot's voice shook me out of my mental reverie.

"Yeah," I said, defeated, "I'm here."

"Look, Brian's not dead. Not yet, anyway. He's at Bellevue, but the doctors don't know how much longer he'll last. You should get down here."

I nodded numbly, not that anyone could see it.

"What happened?" I asked, trying to get even a slight grasp on the situation at hand.

"He was undercover, trying to bust a guy for the rapes and murders of four teenage girls. Bastard caught on and gunned him down. Nearly bled out before the ambulance got to him."

Silence.

"Look, I'm going to come get you, all right? I don't want you driving right now."

I shook my head.

"No. I'm a big girl, Elliot. I can handle myself. I'll see you in half an hour." With that, I hung up the phone, butting Elliot off before he had a chance to respond.

Numbly, I finished getting dressed and headed for the car. I just sat there for a minute or two, trying to process everything. Cassidy - dead. It just couldn't happen.

The ride to the hospital was the longest one I've ever taken. Nothing could move fast enough, least of all the desk clerk who spent a whole fifteen seconds searching after I said "Brian Cassidy". The name caught in my mouth, as if saying it would make this all real.

"He's in surgery right now. If you'd like, I could-" I cut her off before she could finish.

"Elliot!" I had spotted my partner walking down the hall, head hung. He looked up when he heard me and from the look in his eyes I knew. I knew that he was dead.

I rushed toward Elliot, into his comforting embrace, praying it was all a lie, that this was all just some cruel joke someone was playing to get back at me for something. But then I saw Munch and Fin, one leaning dejectedly against the wall, the other slumped in a chair, and I knew. I knew it was all true. He was dead. Brian Cassidy was really dead.

But I did not cry. I did not breakdown and sob as I had seen so many people do at the loss of a loved one. No, I did not cry. I just wanted one thing.

"Can I see him?"

No one answered, but no one objected, either. I took that as a sign to march into the neighboring room, the one where his body was.

There was a nurse in there, taking care of the bode bag. She was about to cover his face, close him off from the world forever, when she saw me.

She saw the look in my now-tortured eyes and stopped what she was doing and silently left the room.

I spotted a chair next to the bed, presumably put there when the others were there, and say in it. I looked at his pale face, recalling all of the times I had done so before. But then... then it had been so warm, so comforting to touch, and now... now the skin was cool and dry, as if he had only just left.

A lone tear ran down my cheek as I though about all the times I had touched that face, brushed a stray strand of hair back into place, followed by a stream of them. I though about how hew could cup my face in his hands just before kissing me, how he said he loved the lips the most. I loved the eyes. Through them you can see a person's soul, if they let you. I had seen his. His was pure, way too good to have been tainted by the evil we saw every day. He didn't deserve this.

My tears stopped abruptly as my mind registered a question and sorrow turned to rage. Before I turned to leave the room, and the one I loved behind in it, I stroked his cheek and laid a light kiss on those now-cold lips and murmured a soft "I'll never forget you". Then I strode out the door, anger bubbling beneath the surface, threatening to explode.

Four pairs of eyes fell on me as I emerged. I briefly took not that the Captain had arrived, as well as Brian's partner, Matt Caldon. I ignored all but one as I made my way over to Matt, who met my fiery gaze rather reluctantly.

"What happened to the perp?" I asked, malicious thoughts breaking through the logical ones.

"Dead. Shot four times when we found Cassidy down."

I smiled ferociously and snarled,

"Good."


End file.
